I. Am. So. Sick. Of. The. Military. Wife. Stigma.
I'd really like to explain to the world (mostly the civilian world) that marrying a soldier (or sailor, or marine, or airman) is not for "free money." Military wives DOD ID cards list them as a "dependent" of sorts to their "sponsor" who is their husband. That does not mean a military wife is SOLELY FINANCIALLY SPONSORED BY THE ARMY AKA THEIR HUSBAND. Military wives move. Constantly. It is guaranteed that the serviceman has a job where you move next... mostly because the military is the reason you're moving. But what about the spouse? The move doesn't come with job placement for the wife (or husband... if you want to go into that though, that's a whole different blog). Towns with military installations contain some of the highest unemployment rates in the US. This is because not every spouse can get a job in one tiny town doing what they're best at. Some spouses never get a job in their field with this constant relocation. But they shouldn't be ashamed... they should be proud. They made an immense sacrifice for their loved one.
A few days ago, I was venting to my soldier about how difficult it was to change jobs in the last week. He looked me dead in the eye and told me that he wasn't sure he could ever repay me for the sacrifices I made so that we could be together. The solder, the guy who signed his life over for this country, told me that he appreciated MY sacrifice. I appreciated that more than he will ever know.
This stigma and misconception really ticks me off when people believe that as a spouse you're entitled to things. Your housing allowance is paid into by your spouse's paycheck. Your benefits are paid into by your spouse's paycheck. None of this is "free money" nor is it your right. You're entitled to nothing in this world and the military certainly does not owe you. Trust me.
My point is this: military spouses don't sit around in the Starbucks and enjoy their husbands money. Or at least, all the ones I know don't. We have our own jobs. We have our own aspirations. We make our own choices. Being a military spouse does not make you a gold digger. Who you love is who you marry... not their career. While marrying a military man (or woman) may change your life, it doesn't make you a different person. That choice is your own.