1) Who is Rocky?
2) Is she Rocky?
3) Picture show. I get it. Movies. Ok.
4) Why are all the credits in a blood font? Will this question be answered later?
5) A church! I've seen one of those.
6) IS THAT VICTORIA JUSTICE?
7) A wedding and a funeral? ALL AT ONCE?!
8) But like... what about the reception?
9) THAT IS VICTORIA JUSTICE!
10) YAY ITS A MUSICAL!
11) GET YOUR GLOVES OFF VICTORIA JUSTICE/JANET!
12) Why is the funeral following them? I feel like this is an omen.
13) I am about to go on a strange journey apparently.
14) Are they going to die? Like I need to know. Rainstorms and cars don't mix in movies.
15) Oh geez Brad. Don't go into the castle. Don't bring Janet. DAMNIT!
16) NEW VOICE
17) I feel like your light is not going to be so bright in five seconds Janet.
18) Scary hello.
19) Oh Janet. Be a little more accepting. This is 2016. (Jk. Probably not.)
20) DON'T GO IN THERE ARE YOU NUTS BRAD?!
21) I'd leave while the guy is petting the skeleton.
22) YAY TIME WARP!! I know this song.
23) Oh my. Lots of people. Ok. Here we go.
24) Yay for tap dancing making a comeback... I want those shoes.
25) Oh get off your high horse Janet. Honestly.
26) Brad you couldn't protect anyone from anything.
27) LAVERNE COX YAAAZ
28) This has taken a turn. Thank you for walking me through this Laverne.
29) If my body was as rockin' as Laverne Cox's I would wear that too...
30) So we are clear: we are watching people watch a picture show right? I feel like yes.
31) Brad you are being super rude.
32) "Snaps for Laverne"
33) AN ACCIDENT?!
34) Oh no. Is this like a Frankenstein thing? Are we about to unleash a monster?
35) OOOOHHHHHH. That's Rocky.
36) Does Rocky end up with Janet? Is this a Rom-Com?
37) I am really proud that I found Rocky.
38) Workout time! Okay! I get that!
39) Laverne Cox is getting up in Rocky's... stuff.
40) WHY A MOTORCYCLE CRASH! HEY ADAM LAMBERT!
41) Adam Lambert's hair is goals.
42) Laverne looks mad at Adam.
43) IS LAVERNE COX NUTSO?!
44) Ok. Bye Adam.
45) That took a turn.
46) Oh hey... Janet is drinking the Kool Aid.
47) "Going down"? Was that a... could that be a... euphemism?
48) That is OBVIOUSLY not Brad
49) Is Laverne going to to get fresh with Janet?!
50) Yep.
51) Oh Janet. Famous last words. "Promise you won't tell Brad?"
52) Oh good news. Rocky is back.
53) Oh bad news. Rocky is going to escape.
54) Oh shit. Bye Rocky.
55) Wait. Brad and Laverne too?!
56) So to recap: everyone had their first with Laverne Cox.
57) Totally called it.
58) Janet and Rocky, good for y'all.
59) Yes, tell us about it Janet.
60) So. Victoria Justice is no longer a Nick TV kid...
61) Good for you Janet!
62) Ahh. The precursor to Christian Grey. Nice whip Laverne.
63) Dr. Scott is here!
64) Why are we afraid of UFO's? IS LAVERNE AN ALIEN? Wait no. That cannot be right.
65) Isn't Eddie dead? Shit. Laverne killed him. Stop talking about it.
66) Laverne tore Brad and Janet apart. This must be what the Republicans are afraid of.
67) EDDIEEEEE
68) Dr. Von Scott? What is that implying? WHAT IS HAPPEINING?!
69) DOCTOR SCOTT WAS ACTUALLY EDDIE'S DAD?!
70) EDDIE WAS THE TABLE??! THAT IS SO TWISTED!
71) Why is Janet getting smacked around!?
72) Well that's very nice. Everyone's calling her a Hot Dog?
73) Oh there are rocks in his head.
74) Sounds like Frankfurter has a depression issue.
75) It is the "floor show". I am confused again.
76) Ok. We got gold and sexual all at once here.
77) Brad is a secret drag queen? Is that the right term?
78) They got Victoria Justice dressed real quick... this is not like Grease Live. This is neither Grease NOR live.
79) Is Laverne Cox sitting atop a giant hand?
80) Is this symbolic?
81) How did I lose understanding of this entire movie HERE? I was doing so well.
82) "Don't dream it, Be it." Ok.
83) Is the pool symbolic of something?
84) So did Laverne Cox change everyone or was this inside them the whole time?
85) Wow. Everyone is wearing heels now.
86) OH PLOT TWIST! The assistants are in silver. They mad. Shit son. It's getting real.
87) Wait. Not so real.
88) Oh I am back in this. They're gonna kill Frankenfurtor. Frankenfurter? Frankenferter?
89) They killed the chick with the cool hair. That is a massive disappointment.
90) So Franken-whatever finally gets the desire of Rocky when shes dying. That is a solid bummer.
91) IF EVERYONE DIES I AM NOT GOING TO BE OKAY.
92) "They never liked me!" What was that all about!
93) Good call on leaving Dr. Scott. Peace out.
94) The galaxy of Transylvania?
95) IF HE STARTS HITTING ON HIS SISTER I AM GOING TO BE SO CONFUSED.
96) Oh we are Time Warping again?
97) WE ARE TIME WARPING AGAIN!
98) Wait. They left Janet and Brad behind?! Ok. Brad gets to keep his eyeliner and corset? Ok.
99) How many different bras has Victoria Justice worn in this movie?
100) THAT WAS IT?!?! ITS OVER?!?!?! THAT HAD LIKE NO CONCLUSION. WHAT THE HELL.