2) FEAR: "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit..." you murmur as you chug the Airborne and pop an extra Zinc tablet.
3) PANIC: Can be best described as that first morning you wake with both nostrils plugged full of Satan's royal crap. You jolt up in bed, your eyes wild... reaching for a Kleenex.
4) SHOPPING: Does it say "congestion relief" on it? You're buying it. Kleenex with lotion? You'll take 46 boxes. Gatorade? Lysol? Soup? Check. Check. CHECK!
5) DEPRESSION: "This is the end. I will never be able to use both my nostrils at the same time ever again. I might actually suffocate if I lay wrong. This is it. Goodbye cruel world!"
6) ACCEPTANCE: "This is who I am now. A snot covered hermit. This is where it ends for me."
7) RECOVERY: Where you forget everything that just happened, stop appreciating the use of both nostrils like you vowed you would when you got better, and stop boosting your immune system until it happens again.