I've been known to cancel plans last minute... A lot. Luckily for me, I have a boyfriend and a few best friends that know why or don't take it personally. But to everyone else, I'm a bit flaky. And there's not much I can do about it.
For years I've battled with anxiety. Some days, my anxious and depressed tendencies are a tiny puddle I jump over on my way out of bed. Other days, it's a pond that I tread through and fight the entire day. But the worst days, the hardest days, or the flakiest days; the anxiety is a vast ocean that consumes me and I can't figure out how to swim through.
Sound a little too dramatic? Allow me to further explain.
Making plans on a good day, a non-flaky day, an anxiety "puddle" day is easy. You're feeling good, the world is good, and you could totally use that night out/weekend away/ lunch date/ coffee meeting. What could go wrong? Following through on these plans is also easy on a non-flaky, low anxiety day. You have a good time, you've followed through and things are great! But not every day is anxiety and depression free. Often enough, the plans are made on a "puddle" day and come to fruition on an "ocean" day and you're stuck wondering what to do.
On that day when the anxiety is drowning me... No choice is a good one. If I go to that night out/weekend away/ lunch date/ coffee meeting I won't be any fun, I'll be emotionally drained, and risk losing friendship over a bad hangout. If I DO NOT go to that night out/weekend away/ lunch date/ coffee meeting I risk everyone calling me a flake, never inviting me anywhere ever again, or everyone having fun without me.
Sound insane? I agree.
There are so many things I do to try and battle these feelings. If you Google "anxiety" remedies you can find thousands of suggestions on how you can alleviate anxiety and prevent it in the future. But the fact of the matter is, these feelings tend sneak up no matter what. Some say, "It's how you deal with it that defines you." Well, I'm no Plato or Socrates but that is absolute bullcrap. How anxiety is dealt with is however you decide is best for you.
So. Why is she such a flake? Is it because she's a wuss and has a simple stomachache? Or is it because her anxiety is causing so much nausea that she can't stomach the thought of anything outside of her bed. I guess it's not so much about how SHE deals with her anxiety... But how YOU deal with what your friend is going through.