Apple picking is when basic women (such as myself) go to an apple orchard with their significant others or with gal pals.* Requirements for entry are usually leggings, riding boots, flannel of some sort, or an infinity scarf (obviously if you can fit all of these into one outfit, you get a prize. I think.)
After your outfit is on point and you arrive (often with a latte in hand), you "pick apples." Why is that in quotes? Because only 45% of this ritual is for actual apples. The rest is autumnal pageantry. You take pictures. You show off your "squad" or your "man" or your "woman", you change your profile picture on Facebook, you Instagram the shit out of the day, and your snap chat story is sappy as hell.
Why do we do it? It's simple. Midwestern Autumn is nature's yearly pre-apology for the hell the Midwest puts us through each November through April. So we deserve to enjoy it. Plus. Who doesn't love apple EVERYTHING?! Huh?! (Maybe Bill Gates. Ha. Get it?! It's a Mac joke... ok...)
And there you have it Southerners, West Coasters, Floridians, Alaskans, and some select East Coasters. We may have the most obnoxious winters and terrible accents, but at least God gave us great leaves, good apples, and excellent social media activities.
*The woman in the above photo is a trailblazer in modern Midwestern Apple Picking. By eschewing the norm of Apple picking with a man or a "squad" this woman chose instead to 'pick with her brew instead of her boo.' This is a revolutionary move in basic girls' feminist apple picking. What a time to be alive.